a falling star.

Have you ever crossed paths with someone who made you let go of everything you ever believed in? Someone who taught you newer definitions of the emotions you never dreamed to live? Someone who could have been the one… only if the timing was right? The ‘wrong’ time can feel like an excuse sometimes. I swear to God, for me it does feel like something that shouldn’t matter but it does. Timing does matter. Not to be the sadistic version who blames the time but it’s true and you know that in your heart too. Now, on the bright side, I think that there comes a point in your life when the timing is right, when that won’t be an obstacle anymore. And the ones who are patient enough to survive and create a life with just one corner reserved for their “the one”, do get the right chance. 

I think of that when I am writing about you, about us, about the I love you I almost said. You are not my soulmate, I tell myself. Though, you are a part of me I do not know how to live without. You feel very familiar to me… Perhaps we were one star and something made us two, threw us down from space hoping we would reconnect by the time we hit the ground. We didn’t. You became a distant memory for me and I, to you. And as the years passed, we forgot about the star, about the promise we might have made falling from a life we could have had.

Now, years later, I have found you again. And your touch feels too much like home, your heartbeats feel so much like a song that is stuck in my head for so long. Now, you feel like a place I would run to with freshly picked flowers in one hand and a sketch I knew you would like in the other. You are not my soulmate because even if we have everything it takes to do justice to the word “soulmates”… it’s still too complicated, right? That’s what you would say. That the timing is wrong. It’s funny how I only wish for one right chance that we oh so deserve from every falling star… Do you think they remember us? Do you think they call us ‘that one star hanging onto every last drop of faith’? 

From the life we can’t seem to remember now, I do remember the fall. I couldn't see the end or the beginning. There was nothing to hold onto. There was nothing to look back at or forward to. I have forgotten everything, yet I remembered your scent, your laugh, the way your palms fit in mine, and the way our eyes knew just what to say. I remembered you. I was falling with no beginning, with no end. I was falling so deep, so deep each time with hands reaching out and fire behind my eyes, searching for you, calling for you. I was falling with no beginning, with no end but one thing I knew, I was falling just for you.

A little secret, I was lying next to you when I thought about this. About the star, about that thing tearing us apart, about falling from so high that it almost felt impossible to survive. I was lying next to you when I knew why we survived. We had to. We had to because this story has to be written and told, it has to be read and heard. 

I know we have a few more battles to conquer but by the time our star reunites, we will be fighting over what TV show to binge as the sun sets, sitting on the rocking chairs of some wooden cabin overlooking the lake... and it all will be well.