Frozen Words

They say, “memories last a lifetime” and at the same time, “nothing lasts forever”… I don’t think that’s true at all. I think, every single thing that has made an impact on you, even for a short while, will live with you until someone makes you a star in the night sky just because they miss you too much. You take those memories, those people sometimes as a hope to keep moving forward or sometimes as a burden over your shoulder that you just can’t seem to shake.  Which one of these was he for me? My indecisiveness yet again makes its way through the things I was so sure about just yesterday. We were good, he and I. The ones who rarely used WhatsApp became used to that ‘ping’ sound, and the girl who believed in sparks became the one to deny it and for what? Because it was too good to be true, because it seemed so effortless… It was the easiest thing I ever came across, talking to him. And so, the fear of ruining it all got in the way. I didn’t try to fight it. I guess I should have g...

I once compared him to the moonlight. The way it never fails to amuse me. There's always a sense of 'you can lean on me and tell me your secrets' to it. And I don't think I would be able to survive so long with all my secrets bottled up inside this heart of mine, most of which belongs to him from the very beginning... The moonlight was there to tell me that I don't have to keep it all in, that I can break down and be naïve and fall in love with all the wrong people and still, that won't change the way I love, that won't make me weak. I think darkness is overrated. We give it too much attention and it doesn't have to be this way. I was a completely different person when he came into my life. He helped me a lot and he doesn't even know it. There were a lot of moments where I knew this spark between us is meant to turn into fire and burn everything to the ground and I can see it still. Sometimes too bright that I am afraid of all the things we would d...

It was either him or no one at all. Every morning, a part of me would wish to get a text from him, anything that will let me know that he thought about me, that I crossed his mind. I swear to god, everything was so much easier when we were almost together. We never confessed our feelings, never gave a name to whatever we were, never tried to define it. We both thought we had time… we thought we will figure this out and that it all will be okay. The end was unexpected, unprepared for. I could never wrap my head around almost having him and then losing it all in the blink of an eye. I hate how he took it like it was nothing at all, I'm not sure if this hurt him too and he doesn't know about the heart-wrenching pain I had to go through, alone. We both were hiding our misery and as it turns out, we both are good at it. If this goes on like this, him, pretending nothing ever happened and I, typing down everything I want to scream at him… we both will bury our half-written story unde...