Some Stories Never End...

I sometimes wonder how many poems, stories will be there that never got an end? That never were given attention and were just abandoned? What happened to them? Are they still somewhere waiting to be looked at? Are they still in some corner of a house collecting dust? Can you imagine how many masterpieces, legendary lines, golden pages would be there just waiting to be found by someone? How many love stories, tragedies would be there willing to be shared but no one to bring them out in the world? I feel sad for all the letters that were never sent to the right address, for the half-written pages that just sat there on the table, words of which consumed in spilt ink and stained tears. I feel sad for the ones who never received their letters, who never got to know about the love that was dying slowly yet was living and breathing for one reason, the love that was yet to begin, that was hoping to begin.

Do you want to know how I feel about you? That is how. If you read all the unsent letters I kept hidden from the world, you will know. I wrote them with the sole intention in my heart, you. I always dreamed to read these to you, to sit beside you, our morning coffee in our hands, a perfect Sunday morning and I will just tell you about the things I used to write when I was so overwhelmed by each and every aspect of yours. I dreamed you would tell me to bring those letters to read them out loud, and I will. A little embarrassing session of confessing feeling, I would look at you and see you looking at me with the same affection I longed for all this time. I dreamed that the moment you would know the truth, I would be set free. Free from a longing wish, from a never-ending maze. I dreamed that it would be that moment I would end up calling my home, my safe place.

If there is anything in this world that could maybe help me find myself again, it’s you. And I am not saying this just because I like you, I am saying this because I found something in you that I was searching for all along. I am saying this because I read somewhere that once in a lifetime, there comes a time where everything is just perfect. I read that in that period, all the good things will come together, all the stars will align just to complete your incomplete wishes… I swear, when I first saw you, I knew it right in my heart that this was it, this was my ‘once in a lifetime’ moment. I knew that you are my ‘once in a lifetime’. Tell me, how was I supposed to just let you walk away? I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to. I had to try. I had to take that fall, I had to let you know. To tell you the truth, I was not unaware of how this will shred every little tapestry I covered my trembling heart with, I was fully aware that this will either make me look at sunsets with a smile on my face or a terrible sinking feeling of watching the world burn just like my heart, just like the way you sometimes made me feel…

I want to write our story. I want to keep you in every chapter of my life, not just one. But you are not aware of it. You have no idea how messed up my heart is right now, tearing apart between loving you forever and abandoning you like you were never there. I chose to keep you with me. I chose to keep writing our story, even if there is nothing to write about anymore… I will come up with the words that will let the world know how and why I chose to love you until the end of time. Actually, there are not enough words that could maybe do justice to everything I feel about you, to every way I love you. Nonetheless, as I said, this story of us is always going to be alive, even when I will be no more to write it. I am sure that someday there will come a moment in your life when you will look back and realise how, even though you never really thought about it, I still was in the back of your mind… Our story will always be one of those that never got an end, that never needed one. Because I know I always lived every moment I spent with you like it was the last one. I always looked at you, loved you like the world will end the other day. I bet this world has never seen a love like this and it never will.

This world will never know about us, about all the secrecy in innocent glances, about the ghost of smile you tried to hide but always failed… Our story will always be hidden in my heart and in between torn out pages, safe and sound…It’s true what they say, ‘some stories never end’…