one day.

Someone I know recently asked me, “So, what’s the end of this story?” and it got me thinking… Is there one? Are we flipping through the last few pages of your chapter in this story of my life? Is this it? I would be lying if I say I never thought about this before. Of course, I thought about how my life would fall apart if you walk away, how every dream that started with you will be deserted… and I don’t want to suffer this much because I have survived too long with this, came too far. And letting you go will be the hardest thing I will have to do, no matter how long I would be preparing for it. 

And so, I decide not to interrupt. The timing is wrong and maybe, just maybe that is a good thing right now. I try to think about us in some parallel universe where all of this is not so complicated and confusing. Where you are the ease I need, a safe place and your presence is something that belongs to me and me alone. It is easy to get lost in those sweet false hopes that I wonder if there is any way I can just witness it once with my own eyes, just to see that none of this has been a lie, a curtain hiding a stage full of tragedies… and that’s when I find the reality. 

I admit it is not perfect nor ideal. It is not what I wish for in the long run but right now, as we both move through this weirdly enchanting yet haunting thing called ‘life’, I am glad you are here. I am glad that you are a huge part of who I am today. There’s so much more to life than you and it took me a while to come to terms with that but here I am, finally writing it all down for the world to see. But even if there is, it doesn’t make you less important and I swear to all the gods from hell and heaven that knowing there is more for me out there does not make me love you any less. You have always been the one to make life seem bearable somehow. You make me want to hope, to survive the unbeatable battles, to stay upright when the world is trying to push me six feet down… You make me want to live. 

Truthfully, I don’t think this story will ever have a ‘full-stop’… a 'semi-colon', probably. I think when you find someone whose presence feels like home, and you can be who you are and let all your guards down… when you find someone you trust with every beat of your heart, someone you can’t imagine a day without… you should never let them go. You are that ‘someone’ for me. And I tried to forget and move on, I tried to deny it from the start but nothing of that made me feel good about myself. When I accepted the truth though, that you are the one, it made me feel free. And that’s the second best feeling in the world, the first being seeing you smile…

Here's my answer then… I believe that one day, time will grant us the power to live the promise that was left unattended, to say the ‘I love yous’ that weren’t said out loud, to give us the ending this story deserved but never got, to get written down in history... one day, time will grant us the power to leave behind a legacy only we were destined to survive.

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