Frozen Words

I loved him dearly. The way you love someone with no expectation. I would see him in front of me and that was enough. Knowing that he’s under the same roof as me, knowing that I can hear his laugh even from a distance was enough for me. He was enough for me. But I guess, there was always a want of more, a craving, kind of hunger that only his lips can bring to rest.  I don’t know how to exist without knowing how he is doing. His thought will forever be in the back of my mind, constantly trying to take over all the other thoughts I might have. The insane thing is, even though I know I deserve so much more than what he gives me, I am still stuck and drunk on the way he feels. It’s very comfortable, somehow familiar to me as if I have been here before… he feels like home. Even the complete silence by his side makes me want to dance around the room and smile… He makes me want to smile.  Is he even aware of how much I love him? I recall waking up to the best view, I recall waking u...

How hard can it be? To love a stranger? I don't know why but I'd like to give this a thought. Can you love someone at first sight? Can you feel this insanely familiar feeling just when you hear their voice? Is it possible to have that someone in your thoughts constantly so that it doesn't even feel like you actually don't know each other at all? Now, there are billion other questions like this and answer to each of them depends on you and that stranger your heart knows already.  Loving a stranger is something I never wanted to think about, I always wanted to keep it aside because I don't think you can keep someone you only saw once in your thoughts. To be honest a stranger doesn't have to be someone you only saw once and never again. It can be someone you see every day and you even talk to that person and still, even after all the things you try, there is nothing you know about him. There is nothing you can do to make him realise how crazy you are just to be the...

Do you ever think about everything that has not happened like you wanted it to? You had high hopes from this person and that hope just crashed down on the ground shattering in million pieces. And you are too tired to pick it up, to make an effort one more time, to let that someone know that you are still there, for them. But even after everything, you never stop hoping. Because it's what keeps us alive. Hope gives us reason to believe on something unbelievable. I think hope makes us happy and sad at the time. Here's the poem I wrote for him. Even though he have no idea that it's for him but it's alright. Because I'm hoping that one day he will. I hope that one day he will know what I wanted to say but couldn't. I hope that one day this poem will let him know my heart's unsaid words. The Hope. Loving you is beautiful, A beautiful kind of tragedy. Sometimes I wish I could get away from you, But the hope of 'us' won't let me quit. I look at th...

We all have one moment of weakness and if you are someone like me… that moment changes your life forever. In fact, it changes ‘you’ forever. I had that. So many times, when I was surrounded by him or his thoughts. And trust me, you have to learn how to survive that. To be honest, I learned but it was kind of difficult. It took a lot of time and I lost one thing while surviving through this love game while learning to swim without any surety of being successful. It was 'swim or drown' kind of situation. I learned to swim but like I said I lost something. I lost the old me. Forever. So, given below is a letter I wrote after realizing the power I got after losing ‘her’. It’s the letter for him. Just to let him know how he made the biggest mistake of his life by hurting one little thing inside my mind. Dear Player,       The old me was somewhere deep inside shallow part of my heart and last night I destroyed her. I killed her. I killed a part of me, the innocent one ...

We all have that one chapter in our story which we never read out loud, which we’d keep to ourselves forever inside our hearts and in back of our minds... But that doesn’t mean that you never replay it to yourself. I guess this is the time I let go of this chapter from my mind, at last, the one I never told to anyone but myself over and over again... I guess this is the time you all deserve to know the pleasure I got after all the pain I’ve been through on this journey… At that time I was wandering inside the sea of emotions and feelings which were just temporary but well I found him there, a wanderer and so far I thought he was my only way to shore... I read somewhere, “If you want something from the depth of your heart, you’ll achieve it… One day.” And trust me, the moment I saw him... I thought this is what I meant to find on that one day, that he is the home for my lost soul... But just like always, emotions clouded my vision and with him, I felt like I’m on cloud nine......