Moving On...



We all have that one chapter in our story which we never read out loud, which we’d keep to ourselves forever inside our hearts and in back of our minds... But that doesn’t mean that you never replay it to yourself. I guess this is the time I let go of this chapter from my mind, at last, the one I never told to anyone but myself over and over again... I guess this is the time you all deserve to know the pleasure I got after all the pain I’ve been through on this journey…

At that time I was wandering inside the sea of emotions and feelings which were just temporary but well I found him there, a wanderer and so far I thought he was my only way to shore... I read somewhere, “If you want something from the depth of your heart, you’ll achieve it… One day.” And trust me, the moment I saw him... I thought this is what I meant to find on that one day, that he is the home for my lost soul... But just like always, emotions clouded my vision and with him, I felt like I’m on cloud nine... But in reality, I was just falling down from so high…

It didn’t take much longer for me to realize that he was just another wishing star and I was the one who made a wish watching him fall. And I believed that there will be a miracle and the star will fall in the right place... But I never really thought that it will be so far away from my reach... So I decided to stop for a while... Just to get a little time to know me more... Because as you all know, we spend so much time to get to know others, to please others, to make them love us... But we never really stop for a second and ask some questions to no one else but our hearts... I started asking myself so many questions about me.. By getting to the bottom of them, I found one thing which made my clouded vision crystal clear... I found something which was holding me back from doing the right thing, something which made me feel lost in the first place, I found the only thing he knew about me... I found my weaknesses…

Now that was the turning point of my life. Because now, him and I, we’re on the same page... But I was good at keeping secrets of others as well as my own. Now that I knew how to break his spell, I just decided not to hurry... I wanted to take things slow and that’s exactly what I did. I started playing him in his own game. I made it look like I’m trapped, I’m under his spell and he actually believed that I was that same innocent girl he once played with his so-called true love... In the end, I never let him win and I didn’t win either. I think this chapter of my life was like an incomplete story, an unfinished poem or never-ending love... Call it what you want. But for me, this was the ultimate favourite chapter of all time... I have no idea if I will ever come across to him again but if I ever do... He is going to remind of every conflict, every promise and all memories we ever had... I am sure I will be happy to see his face again but I am also sure that he will never get a second chance to be in the story of my life... He was just a chapter and now I have to flip the page and start reading the next one…

Just so you know, I am not the same anymore. His presence in my life made me someone I never thought I will be. And I’m thankful for that. He was bad, so cruel but still magnificent and breath-taking. I can never forgive him for what he did or how he made me feel but I somehow know that I can’t just keep re-reading the story of us... And that is why I am moving on and letting him leave.

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