Frozen Words

How hard can it be? To love a stranger? I don't know why but I'd like to give this a thought. Can you love someone at first sight? Can you feel this insanely familiar feeling just when you hear their voice? Is it possible to have that someone in your thoughts constantly so that it doesn't even feel like you actually don't know each other at all? Now, there are billion other questions like this and answer to each of them depends on you and that stranger your heart knows already.  Loving a stranger is something I never wanted to think about, I always wanted to keep it aside because I don't think you can keep someone you only saw once in your thoughts. To be honest a stranger doesn't have to be someone you only saw once and never again. It can be someone you see every day and you even talk to that person and still, even after all the things you try, there is nothing you know about him. There is nothing you can do to make him realise how crazy you are just to be the...

Two Different Worlds. We live in two different worlds,  Miles and miles away from each other.  Looking at the same moon,  But under different time, different weather.  Do you ever think of a place? That lives in the deepest part of your mind...  A place that has been reserved For you and the one, you are yet to find? Million questions like these I tell the moon to ask you for me.  Still every night, it comes with no answers Says you never gave it a chance to speak.  I wonder what  You must be telling the moon.  Will you tell me those things When I'll meet you? Will I ask you the same questions That I do every night? Or will I just let them find the answers on their own,  And drown in your ocean green eyes? 

Isn't it nice that you can love someone for who they are? Like, you know they won't be perfect because no one is. But for you, that person is just everything you ever wanted to complete your life. There are times when you feel like that person might not be the one, that he might hurt you one day but then your heart tells you that it's never going to happen because he is the one. He is what you will need at the darkest times, on the brightest day. He is the only one who will be there when you are at your worst and when you are at your best. It's wonderful how your heart can be so sure of something that your mind has doubts about. Someone I really love once said, "No matter what, always listen to your heart. Because your mind knows everyone and everything but your heart knows only you." The following poem is something I wrote yesterday because I just had this sudden urge to tell him how much I want to hold my hopes high because of him and how bad I want to los...

I heard goodbyes are always bittersweet. They come without warning and live with us for the rest of our lives in our memories or maybe, if you are someone like me, they get out. Out of your mind, out of the bounds we set for that kind of pain. I heard people always find it hard to move on. It's natural. Of course, forgetting the memories, colour of his eyes or the way he made you smile is hard and your mind becomes so cruel in that period of time because it replays all the shattered broken promises. It replays the moments you don’t want to remember. The following poem is about how you realize that you are attached to him in every aspect of your life, how even changing your perspective won’t help you to move on, it’s about how you start to notice every the detail in nature just to take your mind off him but even that reminds you of him. The following poem is something that happens when your heart decides to go against your mind and keeps him forever within. ALMOST. The...

What do I miss the most about you? Let’s talk about it here. I miss a lot of things. Like the way it all began. The awkward, nervous phase that I was able to survive. It was very embarrassing but still, I enjoyed every bit of it. Oh, at that time I used to blush by your name and seeing you just once would make my day. It was the best time of my life so far. And then, life took an interesting turn, we fell in love. Or at least that’s what we call it, right? Was it meant to be? I don’t know. I don’t even know if it was the right thing. But it felt right and at that time, at that moment, the only thing mattered was you. I now know that it was a mistake but I think this mistake was worth making. I think this mistake was something that told me ‘Everything makes sense. Even though it wrecks your heart to know the truth, after hearing it you will start to heal.’ I miss being in love. That feeling when you see your lover. Like butterflies rising in your stomach, like just want to go ther...

She loves him differently. She loves him like you love looking at rainbows, like you love singings songs in the shower like you love weekend mornings. She loves him like that. Like his eyes are the ones where she wants to get lost in like his smile is the only thing that keeps her smile alive, like his voice is the only thing she can never get tired of hearing, like his name, is the only thing that can make her heart happy, like he is the only one she needs by her side while looking at sunrises and sunsets. Loving him is hard. It's like waking up early in the morning knowing that you didn’t even get 2 hours of sleep. It's like living in a world where there is no way you can see what’s in front of you, you just have to simply keep walking, being ready for anything at all times. Loving him is like trying so hard to tell yourself that it's okay but still knowing inside that it never will be. Loving him is like surviving in a war. It's like that breath you have to tak...

A few days back, I was going through an old file I kept with all the letters to my future self and while reading those, I felt like this is crazy. A good kind of crazy. I mean, did I know that there will come a time when I will need those words I wrote a year ago without knowing anything about where I will be in a year or so? It feels really amazing to read it now, feels like I knew I am going to need this. That is when I got the idea to write a poem for the 'old' me. Now, I am 18. So, as a teenager, there are many things which could've gone wrong, which changed me completely. But I want to thank that me who went through everything and still stayed true to herself. There are many things I wish I knew before, many things I wish I told myself but that doesn't mean I regret not knowing them at that time. I listed a few things in the poem below. Things I want her to know, things I want her to believe, things I want her to see and things I wanted her to feel. Dear Old Me...

Its weird, isn’t it? Loving a part of someone. A smile or colour of their eyes but not their soul. I mean, it hurts a little less. Though it gives away so many lies and takes away your soul’s little piece. This blog is about that someone, about that feeling which came while looking in his eyes and hearing him calling my name. He is like a winter morning but right when the sunshine hits your cold body. So peaceful and feels like flying. I loved him. I really really did but did he love me? The question with an answer which changes very frequently. Even though sometimes it feels like he really did love me like he said, after that one session with my counsellor, I doubt him. The thing is, I have been holding all these words for a long time now and I guess, it's finally time that I let it all out. Because it's way heavier than I thought and even though he was my everything once upon a time, now just thought of him feels unfamiliar. There are nights when I miss him like cra...

Do you ever think about everything that has not happened like you wanted it to? You had high hopes from this person and that hope just crashed down on the ground shattering in million pieces. And you are too tired to pick it up, to make an effort one more time, to let that someone know that you are still there, for them. But even after everything, you never stop hoping. Because it's what keeps us alive. Hope gives us reason to believe on something unbelievable. I think hope makes us happy and sad at the time. Here's the poem I wrote for him. Even though he have no idea that it's for him but it's alright. Because I'm hoping that one day he will. I hope that one day he will know what I wanted to say but couldn't. I hope that one day this poem will let him know my heart's unsaid words. The Hope. Loving you is beautiful, A beautiful kind of tragedy. Sometimes I wish I could get away from you, But the hope of 'us' won't let me quit. I look at th...

Do we always have to name everything we do? Everything we feel? Or is it okay not to give a title, a headline to the most unforgettable thing in your life? Is it okay just to make memories and leave it at that? Because I think it would be a beautiful combination of love and pain, of a day and starry sky, of daydream and nightmare. I think it's a beautiful moment to just to be by that someone's side, just to feel their presence. I think it is painfully beautiful to be lovers without the name. "Name" We never got a name for us Never let words explain you & me, Just kept calling out lies Hiding truths, we loved secretly. Those long walks Needed no words, just you by my side. Fingers dying to entwine,  Your eyes looking like a book I should not read. Because we knew, This won't go anywhere. We will make memories and promises, And still, end up getting hurt. Looking ahead in time I know I will have one regret, Why I never called you mine? Why we ne...

Not a single heart is meant to stay broken forever. Broken hearts are just another reason why we go in search of love or why we don't go for searching at all. I say, you should go. You have to put yourself out there because you have to find love for no one else but you. The thing is, when your heart is shattered into pieces, when the pain is unbearable.. You always find a way. A way to get yourself out of that misery, a way to make your heart stronger, a way to be new version of you. You build your walls higher than before. One brick at a time and those bricks represent all those tears your eyes lost, all those heart aches and everything that made you feel lost in the first place. But no matter how high you build your walls, there is always that one person which can make those walls disappear just after looking in your eyes. And trust me, you wouldn't think twice to let it all fall down to the ground... Even if he is the reason why you had your guards up. Because he, my darling...

We all have one moment of weakness and if you are someone like me… that moment changes your life forever. In fact, it changes ‘you’ forever. I had that. So many times, when I was surrounded by him or his thoughts. And trust me, you have to learn how to survive that. To be honest, I learned but it was kind of difficult. It took a lot of time and I lost one thing while surviving through this love game while learning to swim without any surety of being successful. It was 'swim or drown' kind of situation. I learned to swim but like I said I lost something. I lost the old me. Forever. So, given below is a letter I wrote after realizing the power I got after losing ‘her’. It’s the letter for him. Just to let him know how he made the biggest mistake of his life by hurting one little thing inside my mind. Dear Player,       The old me was somewhere deep inside shallow part of my heart and last night I destroyed her. I killed her. I killed a part of me, the innocent one ...

We all have that one chapter in our story which we never read out loud, which we’d keep to ourselves forever inside our hearts and in back of our minds... But that doesn’t mean that you never replay it to yourself. I guess this is the time I let go of this chapter from my mind, at last, the one I never told to anyone but myself over and over again... I guess this is the time you all deserve to know the pleasure I got after all the pain I’ve been through on this journey… At that time I was wandering inside the sea of emotions and feelings which were just temporary but well I found him there, a wanderer and so far I thought he was my only way to shore... I read somewhere, “If you want something from the depth of your heart, you’ll achieve it… One day.” And trust me, the moment I saw him... I thought this is what I meant to find on that one day, that he is the home for my lost soul... But just like always, emotions clouded my vision and with him, I felt like I’m on cloud nine......